So two months have already passed and I’m not sure if this post is of any bearing. Lol. So let me see, what’s there to update exactly? Revisiting my 2021 New Year’s Resolution, I could definitely said that I am in for a great failure or for a monumental delay in satisfying all my resolutions. Yikes. January and February went by in a blur and all I can remember is that I spent a great deal of energy getting angry at people who don’t matter or on events that are unimportant. Is this mid-life crisis or not? I’m still figuring this out until present.
To be honest, I am losing my focus when there are so much important things to be done and accomplished. I am happy with my personal life despite of inadequacies. I am still financially unstable, still want to go back to school, learn a new skill, start a small business, be more spiritually inclined, settle down and have kids. These are arduous tasks and I know that I will still have a long way to go particularly that I am still not that motivated at the moment. But I know that deep inside my heart, I am up to the challenge. It’s just that I’m still struggling to find my groove again and be a better version of my procrastinating self.
On a happier note, I am quite pleased with the progress of this new blog. True that the updates are relatively slower compared to my previous ones but I’m less stressed knowing that I gave myself a lenient pace in terms of releasing a new post. Other than that, I finally have my own customized profile icon commissioned from an artist I found in Twitter. I also commissioned a logo and several banner characters so that I can fully customize my other posts. I know it’s going to be a mess but that’s the the idea of this blog actually. It’s a book blog…a journal tomorrow…a portfolio the next day…basically an index of all my gibberish. 😀
Reading-wise, I can proudly say that the reading vibe has finally caught up with me. I was able to finish four (4) books since January until today. I know it’s not that much but life has been busy what with all the emotional struggles that I’m trying to overcome and juggling important stuff in between.
Compared with my previous life milestones, I can say that achieving such milestones had been slow since 2018. As a matter-of-fact, it even became stagnant the moment COVID-19 had beleaguered the whole world. I didn’t realize that it would affect me so much but it did. Oh well, I still had a job, I was still able to support my aging parents, I had a salary increase and basically, it still felt like the old normal except that my chances to go home are nil to limited. Everything was almost going okay but the okayish stuff happened for a very limited amount of time and things just kind of snowballed into the wrong directions. Although the negative stuff was not intended for me, I got hurt along the way. I felt I was the one being attacked personally and I was helpless to defend myself because if I did, things would just get aggravated. Depression ensued and I had to find new hobbies just so I can forget the painful stuff. Thank God, the new hobbies helped. And well, having an ultra-supportive person on my side was a heaven-sent.
Anyway, since this is getting longer, I’d have to say that though January and February were slow, it does not mean that I am letting my guard down. I am anticipating that this month and the following ones would be one hell of a roller coaster ride. Regardless of what or what will not happen, I am constantly praying for a new, stable, and fulfilling job, for permanence in my lovelife, for a baby with the love of my life, for a new business to help tide over the rainy days, for my other siblings to be financially stable and most importantly, to live a long, healthy, comfortable and peaceful life.
May the Lord heal us and this world.